Insomniacs Log

Hello, my name is April and I am an Insomniac.

This is my share (Please hold your applause till the end). 

Here I lie at 8:30am wide awake. You might think to yourself, “That’s not unusual I’m always awake at that time.” What makes this so unusual is that I’ve been in bed trying to go to sleep since 1:30 AM and I haven’t slept one minute. I did All The right things that I’m “supposed” too.  I worked out (to burn off the energy) and I did it early enough in the day as to to effect my sleep at night.  Clearly that didn’t work. I meditated in the morning (and have every day for many months), I did deep breathing at night, I took all my natural and one unnatural (Bennidryl) sleep aids, I drank my sleepy time tea to calm me, I got things accomplished in the day and felt good about it.  Nothing weighing me down mentally or physically.  

So, if I set myself up all day for a good night’s sleep at night… Why couldn’t I  sleep tonight? I don’t know. That’s the question I haven’t been able to find the answer to my entire life. Don’t bother commenting your remedies that I maybe haven’t thought of because chances are…I more than likely tried it, researched the hell out of it and tried it again, but it didn’t work. Just in case you still want too, I’m going to list some of the things I have tried below.  I will not be able to remember ALL of the things I’ve tried, but here are some things off the top of my  head.  I may add to this as I remember more.  If this list helps someone sleep better, then it’s worth it to list. Just because it didn’t work for me, does not mean it won’t for you.  I’m just a mess. 

Here is a huge list of things I have tried or still do to try for sleep: 

• Warm milk (Gross)
• Banana at bedtime 
• The darkened room (I have black out sheets)
  
• No caffeine before bed:  Ii tried months of no caffeine and with no difference at all… No, not even chocolate)
• Tons of herbs (pills and liquid forms and many different blends): Valerian, Hops, Aswanganda, Poppy, Gaba, 5-HTP, Magnesium, Kava, Passion Flower, ETC, ETC, ETC
• All of the over the counter crap (Includes NyQuil and ALL the PM’s)
  
• All of the prescription drugs that are meant for sleep
• All the prescription drugs that have one of the side effects of “may cause drowsiness” (not listing them, nor would I be able to at this point),
• No devices at bed (tried that for a bit)
• Using amber lights on devices or in the room after sunset
• Avoiding alcoholic drinks before bed
• Having alcoholic drinks before bed
• Meditation right before bed
• Meditation in the morning
• No TV before bed
• No stimulating TV shows before bed
• Reading in bed
• Keeping the lights low as to not stimulate myself awake when going to the bathroom at night
• Listening to White Noise
• Listening to Pink Noise because “white noise is too harsh”
• Listening to soothing voices such as meditation or hypnotherapy at night. (Although this is lovely and helps get my mind off my anxious thoughts…it does not work all the time, but I do it nightly to help block out neighborhood noises)
  

  Side note: If someone wants to record their voice very slowly whispering, The Raven by Edgar Allan Poe, so I can play it on repeat while I sleep, I would love you.

• Listening to anything calming, like music or chanting, all night to drown out the dogs and loud neighborhood
• No water before bed because you’ll have to get u to pee in the middle of the night
• Drinking water at bed because your “supposed” too
• Going to sleep at the same time every night
• Getting up at the same time every morning
• Acupuncture (more visits than she said I would need before it “stuck”)
• Acupressure:  Points
• Hypnotherapist
• Talk therapy
• All the sleepy time teas (although nice and calming, does not help me go to sleep or stay asleep)
• The flower essence things:  , ,
• All sorts of things made from a Chinese Herbologist
• All sorts of things made by an American naturalist Doctor (because “maybe you tried these herbs, Individually, but the combination was not right or not the right amount”)
• Chiropractor (because maybe some misalignment is messing with sleep?)
• General practice Doctors (they just wanted to put me on drugs)
• Neurologist (just wanted to put me on drugs)
• No, I don’t need a sleep study because I don’t have Sleep Apnea. Yes, I’m sure. 

Things I want to try, but haven’t:

• Ashwagandha Smoothie:  I have tried Ashwagandha in pilll form, but never this drink
• L-ornithine is an amino acid that is primarily used in the urea cycle, which eliminates excess nitrogen from the body. I have tried this, but not regularly and not at the high quantities recommended to help with sleep.
•  Golden Milk: Needs a ton of Turmeric, so I need to try to buy it in bulk to try this one!
• I plan on grounding my bed as one more attempt at this elusive sleep

This is no means an all encompassing list of things I’ve tried over the years, but like I said, It’s just what I can think of right now. But, that thing that you are thinking of…right now… that thing that you don’t think I’ve tried…trust me, I probably have. I mean this in the nicest way, (because I know people mean well) but, it gets old to keep repeating:

 “Oh, thanks, but that never works for me.”

“That’s great that that works for you, but it does absolutely nothing for me”.

“Thanks, but I’ve tried all the over-the-counter and prescription things and nothing has worked for any length of time”

“Yeah, that’s a rare home remedy, but I’ve actually tried that too…no, even that didn’t work”

“Oh that? Yeah, that’s in every article I’ve ever read on fixing sleep issues… No, it does not work for me, but thanks.”

“Yes, I realize there are new sleep drugs on the market, but I want to fix the problem and not just put a band-aid over it.”

A photo project in college to illustrate my hellish Insomnia. Self-portraits.

How bad is my Insomnia?

So bad that I have wrecked cars trying to still get out and function on no sleep. I totaled a car running into a semi that I never even saw until I hit it….A SEMI!  I ran into a parked bus. I had a job working with cars and scratched them up nicely.  And last, but not least, I have banged up every car I’ve owned pretty bad…why do you think I love owning Saturns?  Ha!  You know, the plastic bodies!

I haven’t just destroyed cars being tired.  Sleep derivation affects everything in one’s life in a negative way.  It’s often very debilitating. I can go on and on with story after story of how it has affected me, but this post is already getting long.  If you’d like to ask me about it…please comment on this post.

Next time when I say, “I’m tired”, now hopefully you know that it’s not some lame excuse and don’t assume I just don’t want to hang out…

  “I’m just tired”.

You can applause now.  Haha

A video, I made in the past:  Insomniacs Log

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