After over a decade of wanting to do Yoga Teacher Training, I’m finally doing it! Classes started last Wednesday. Training is 2 times a week: Wednesday and Saturday. So far, I’ve been sore jump starting my practice again and have been reading the required books, Journey Into Power by Baron Baptiste and The Yamas & Niyamas: Exploring Yoga’s Ethical Practice by Deborah Adele.
I’ve read more of Barons book so far, so I’ll share my thoughts on that one today. He talks about the concept of surrendering ourselves to truth. This is interesting and confusing. He talks about living life authentically rather than in reaction to everything, but how does one really do that? Instead of “attacking our problems” like we do in the west and managing stress, but working on your reaction and perception to what causes you stress is a great idea. I’m just not sure it’s as easy as he’s making it out to be. This may just be coming from the mind of a Westerner raised thinking that I need to work hard to “fix” my problems instead of just being true to myself.
And what really does that mean? I feel like I am true to myself. More so in the last several months. I’ve been less afraid to speak my mind and not let things slide like they are OK, when I don’t believe they are. I love the quote in the book, “You stop trying to fix yourself and start being yourself”. I also loved, “When you focus on the problem you get more of the same. what you focus on you create”. I know I have a tendency to worry, stress, and have a more pessimistic outlook than I would like at times. Because of all that, I have problems sleeping and I have most of my life. I have an anxious mind. Its all a vicious cycle and a hard one to break.
Yoga and meditation are supposedly going to help all of my problems if I stick to the regime laid out on this book. I’ve been doing a daily meditation practice for about four months now. I have skipped a few days here and there, but for the most part I try to do 20 to 25 minutes every day. The daily power yoga practice I feel is going to be harder to fit in EVERY DAY. Although, I am defiantly going to try to adhere to it. For science, of course. 😉
Lately, with my depression being at its worst, it’s been hard some days to even get out of bed. But, I wanted to do this yoga teacher training for so long and when I finally got the opportunity to do it, I felt I needed to. It’s very hard starting this at a low point in my life. When I was very much into doing yoga four or five days a week, training to climb a mountain and was super physically fit and healthy, I wanted nothing more than to start yoga teacher training then. Life always got in the way and it always fell through, however. I always had to use the money I had saved for something more important. Even though now, when I feel I’m at my weakest and lowest and have my doubts about doing this at this point…I think this is the time that I need it the most.
Everything in life ebbs and flows…I hope forcing myself out of my comfort zone now will bring me back to flowing.
P.S. HAPPY BIRTHDAY EDGAR ALLEN POE! <3